Collection of One-shots
by Irene Sandler
Summary: A collection one-shots from various fandoms. list of fandoms: Inuyasha, Hetalia, Soul Eater, Youtube, No Game No Life, Homestuck, AoT/SnK, AnoHana, Free!, Pandora Hearts, Haikyuu, Tokyo Ghoul, Gravity Falls, HunterxHunter, Black Butler, DRRR!/DuRaRaRa!, Creepypasta, Death Note, Ranma 1/2, Ib, and South Park. I take requests now. Cover art belongs to me, I drew it.
1. The Two Thieves

/ Set in a Stick of Truth time frame. Beware of shitty fanfic. /

You are (Y/N) Broflovski, Kyle's second cousin. You have been invited over to South Park by your relatives. Or rather, your parents wanted you to get out of your room while being on the internet. So they kicked you out to your cousins' place.

Now...

" Hello! (Y/N), dear please get settled. Kyle's playing with his friends. ", said your aunt who ushered you into the residence.  
You nodded and grabbed you duffel bag and asked," Aunt Sheila? Where will I sleep?" Your aunt put her hand over her mouth and then put down her hand. " Oh! You'll have to probably move into Kyle's room. Wait here sweetie.". Your aunt walked to the backyard and yelled," KYLE! YOUR COUSIN'S HERE!". You could hear your cousin yelling back," OKAY, MOM!" and saw you cousin walk into the living room, where you were. He waved," Hey, (Y/N). Nice to see you." "Thanks and hi to you too, Kyle.", you replied. You aunt walked over to Kyle and said," Kyle, you'll have to share you room with (Y/N). There's no room in the basement and Ike is too young. " You looked at Kyle with a face of,' I DID NOT PLAN THIS OKAY? jesus.' Kyle deadpanned at your reaction, and said," Okay, mom." and grabbed your hand and showed you his room.

A few minutes later...

" Sooooo, Kyle. What are you playing?"  
" You want to play? Are you serious? You're a girl."  
" Does it look like I care? I'm practically banned from the internet except for my phone. And I can barely use it."  
" Sure, I mean, girls here don't exactly play what we play."  
" Ohhh. I see. "  
" We're playing this game in which elves and humans are at war because of this relic called the stick of truth. The stick gives complete authority of the entire universe to whoever wields it."  
" Cool! What side are you on?"  
" Elves. In fact, I'm the elven king! "  
" Can I be like a rogue? I don't help either side and I only help my self. I've always liked characters like that."  
" Okay. But go get yourself in a costume and a 'weapon'. We'll meet in the backyard."  
" Okay, cousin. "

Another few minutes later...

You had a tan button-down shirt and brown pants with sneakers. Then, you had two belts in which you had two wooden knives from a kitchen playset, which you borrowed from Ike. You ran to the backyard to meet Kyle and noticed that there was a large set-up for the 'kingdom', you walked up to Kyle and and pat his shoulder. "Hey." "(Y/N) meet Stanley Marshwalker, and Stan, meet (Y/N). She's my cousin." Stan looked at you suspiciously. " A girl, huh?" You gritted your teeth and replied," Yes. ". Kyle began to talk to Stan," She's a level one Thief helping neither side of the war. Help her level up to level 6, then she can take off from there." Stan nodded solemnly," Yes, my lord." and began to take out his sword. " I'm going to go easy on you, then I'll progressively become more serious as you level up." "Seems fair", you looked at Stan and his sature, wondering how to take him down. Kyle cleared his throat," (Y/N), you'll stay with us until you reach level six, and Stan?" " Yes?" " Please don't throw up on my cousin." "... Goddammit Kyle, I won't" " Good."

A while later...

You were getting hot and sweaty from your 'training' and decided to unbutton the top two buttons of your shirt. You looked up and saw Stan getting green, and thought,' Shit. Is he going to throw up just because I unbuttoned some of my shirt?'. You were not thinking very clearly and walked over to him and kicked him in the nuts, which caused him to spew vomit. Some of the vomit you nearly touched but you hadn't. You screamed," KYLE! I THINK I KILLED STAN! ". Kyle ran to you and looked at his friend," Holy shit. What happened?" " I may or may not have unbuttoned some of my shirt and kicked him in the place where the sun don't shine?" you replied nervously.  
" Well, fuck."  
" Aren't you mad?"  
"Nah, he does almost every time he sees a nice girl he doesn't know."  
"Ohhh. That must suck to suck."  
"I know."  
"So what do I do now?"  
" I don't know. You can go exploring.. with uh, Jimmy."  
" Who's Jimmy?"  
" That person over there," Kyle pointed to a crippled boy and yelled," Jimmy! Come over here!"  
/ IDK How Jimmy's thing with his voice works so bare with me. /  
" O-o-Okay, Kyle.", said Jimmy as he walked over.  
" Jimmy, I want you to meet my cousin, (Y/N). She's a level..."  
" Four ", you helped Kyle with introduction stuff, and waved to Jimmy.  
" Thief and I was wondering if you could accompany her around the neighborhood. She doesn't come here often."  
" R-righto, come on miss (Y/N). " he said, gesturing to the entrance of Kyle's backyard door.  
You smiled and said," No need to call me a 'miss'."  
" B-bu-But you're a la-lady, miss."  
You blushed a little and scratched the back of head," Oh stop it, you."  
Kyle rolled his eyes and pushed the both of you to the door.  
" Get on, your king demands you to do so."  
" Okay, Cousin~"  
" Ye-yes-ss my Lord."

Some adventuring later...

" A-and here is t-the Kingdom of the humans we try to s-sta-sta-ayyy s-stay away from it as much as possible."  
" Oh I see. Wanna kick some ass here?"  
" I-I'd rather not, a New Kid is here. A-a-and he's good, very mu-much."  
" Pleaaaase?~"  
" Fine. Y-you're th-the King's cousin, so okay."  
" Well, it'll be the battle of the New Kids!", you said as you boosted Jimmy over Cartman's house's fence.  
" ELVES! PREPARE FOR BATTLE!", you heard a funny voice scream. You boosted yourself over the fences and asked Jimmy," Who's that?"  
" The Grand Fat-fa-ass. Also known as Cartman.".  
" WHO ARE YOU? "  
" I'M KYLE'S COUSIN, TUBBY! "  
" SO YOU'RE ALSO A DIRTY NO-GOOD JEW? "  
Your face contorted in one of anger. No one disrespects your family. You know why? 'Cos you whoop their ass like a queen.  
" Oh sh-shit.", Jimmy backed away from you a bit.  
You took out your kitchen knives and walked towards Cartman.  
" Bitch, what did you just say?", you asked. It wasn't like a question, more like a command.  
" That you and Kahl are lying Jews."  
" YOU CHAIRFUCKER! I WILL EVISCERATE YOUR GRUBBY BODY INTO EXACTLY TWENTY PIECES YOU PILE OF APESHIT!", you yelled while waving your wooden knives in the air.  
" D-DOUCHEBAG, FELDSPAR TAKE DOWN THE ELVES!", The fatass pointed his staff at you and Jimmy.  
You rolled your eyes and walked back to Jimmy with a deadpan expression.  
" Heeere they come," said a nasally sounding kid who flipped you off at the sight of you. You slipped back your wooden knives into your belts and flipped birds at him back.  
/ I'm gonna go with the pewdiepie version of Douchebag, because he's a Jew. A motherfucking Jew, the irony. The irony. /  
" Are you fucking serious. A Jew. My people. What the hell. " You whispered when you looked at the new kid.  
Jimmy whispered back," W-why the irony!"  
The nasally voiced kid started to talk," I'm Feldspar, or Craig. Douchebag doesn't like to talk, I'd thought you'd might like to know, bitch."  
You grit your teeth and said," Whatever, let's get on to the battle, imbecile."

Somewhere in the battle...

Both sides were heaving and huffing from the physical activity.  
The 'Douchebag' kid was showing no signs of emotion but he was sweating bullets, Lord Bitch Craig the First was wiping his forehead's sweat.  
A brilliant idea struck your head and you turned to Jimmy," If I die, tell Kyle and Ike that they're the best cousins anyone can have."  
" Will d-do! ".  
You brandished your knives and turned to Craig, you 'tripped' right in front of him.  
Craig stepped on your fingers while Douchebag and Jimmy just stared at the both of you.  
You screamed.  
As you felt your fingers getting crushed, you could hear The Grand Fatass Wizard laughing.  
You lifted your head and upper chest and glared at Craig.  
Craig looked down at you condescendingly but then his face turned very, very red.  
He had saw your nonexistent cleavage from the two buttons that were unbuttoned, and backed off a bit, mouth agape.  
You got up and dusted yourself, you walked closer to Craig and looked at him with wide-doe eyes.  
Craig's face got redder, if it were possible.  
Douchebag's and Jimmy's mouths formed an " O " as they predicted your likely move.  
You got closer to Craig and softly, in the most adorable voice you could muster said," I don't really want to fight you..."  
Craig closed his eyes and you made your move.  
You kicked him straight in the balls with all your being.  
Douchebag and Jimmy winced, they knew how it feel if their balls were crushed.  
He groaned on the floor, and you grabbed Jimmy's hand and got the fuck outta there.  
Craig was still on the floor and Clyde walked over to Craig and squatted down and asked," She kicked you really hard. You okay?"  
" No. "  
" Still hurts? "  
" No "  
" Why? "  
" I think I'm in love. "

THE END?


	2. The Rose

/This is more of a free-form poem-thingy. Sol is a player here, so AU-ish? /  
You and he were like a rose.  
You were a rock, steady and constant.  
Like the red petals who fell, he was quite the player, yes.  
Broke the maid's and empress' hearts.  
Your heart was targeted next.  
The judge and the pirates had warned you and yet you insisted upon the folly you had grown accustomed to.  
Your ignorance had cost you your happiness, and you were left with a hole.  
(Y/N) (L/N), a girl who thought she could change something in him.  
She failed.  
You have failed, but it is not just your pride.  
But your heart.  
Tears drip as he states," It's over. I'm really thorry. It'th just not working out for uth."  
You turn on your heels and dash to security and warmth.  
Your trusted companion who loves you, Karkat.  
The rose-blooded troll embraced the hurt he felt so often.  
He looked down at your whimpering form.  
You would never love him.

When you finally learned of the love Karkat had for you, it was too late.  
He had moved on, and was now with the Judge.  
You bit your lip and congratulated them both.  
You walked into him again.  
Sollux Captor.  
The cause of your pain and loss of love.  
The thorn that wilted the rose.  
And there he was holding his arms open.  
You wouldn't dare run in them, afraid.  
He barely talks above a whisper," I'm thorry. We don't need to start over. Can we jutht be friendth?"  
" Yes. Sol, you are my friend."  
That was the assurance he needed to know that he had another chance.  
You didn't go into his arms, but shook his hand.  
Afterall, the thorn is part of the rose.

/ another fucked fanfic /


	3. The Jersey and The Goth

/ This was a request. Please don't kill me. I need help, serious mental help. Enjoy~/

"Oh sweet buttery Jesus.", you were stricken with terror as Kyle walked down the street with his new attire. "He's back " you whispered and ran to Cartman's house.

After a careful consideration…

" WHAT? No way am I going goth!", You shook your head. You were in Cartman's room with the squad… without the transformed Jersey Kyle.  
" It's the only way to bring the stupid Jew back down a level. We know you like him and have sworn secrecy. We can blackmail you any moment now, (Y/N).", Cartman looked at you with mock seriousness.  
" But… COME ON! Look at Stan, can't he be a candidate?"  
" No. I did it last time. It's your turn. "  
" WhhhhhhhhhY?"  
"MHMMRPH RHM! "  
" See? Even Kenny's all like," COME ON! "  
" Fine. "  
" Then it's time for Operation GOTH to begin. "  
You sighed and stood up from your place and started to leave Cartman's room.  
"Godspeed, (Y/N). Godspeed. ", Cartman shook his head in mock pity.

After a HUGE shopping spree…

You took your black eyeliner and lipstick out of its package and took a deep breath. You were wearing a grey t-shirt with a black cross pattern and black skinny jeans and shoes. While unscrewing the cap of the black eyeliner you cringed at the thought of which Cartman stated," _We know you like him and have sworn secrecy." _That made you think ,_'' Wait.. How does Cartman know? What he guessing? Son of a bietch! Very well, two can play this game! "._ You applied the black eyeliner and black lipstick gingerly, re-evaluating some life choices. You took a deep breath and went out of your house. You started to walk down you street, eyes on the floor; downcast and forlorn.  
" Hey doll! What gives?"  
You looked up to see Kyle. Perfect, time to act upon the operation.  
" Nothing special. "  
" Good, would you like to go to the movies with me, doll? "  
WOAH WOAH THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. WHAT DO. PLAY IT COOL, PLAY IT COOL.  
" N-no. I'm fine by myself. "  
" That's fuckin' cabbage! I insist. "  
Your face must have looked like a tomato like now and you looked at the floor shyly.  
Suddenly, someone grabbed your arm.  
" Sorry, but she's with me."  
You looked up to see Clyde and gave him a "thank-you" with our eyes.  
" Who says? " sneered Kyle.  
" I do, wanna-be Jersey Jew. " Clyde leaned in towards Kyle and smirked.  
Your feet were planted into the ground as you watched your friend and crush fight.  
/ This is where I loose my shit and 'The Outsiders' start to come in /  
" Oh shit, I'm so scared! ", Kyle rolled his eyes with a sarcastic expression.  
" Hey! " You yelled, gaining their attention. " Break it up, Clyde! "  
" I was just trying to- ohhhhhhhh. Fuucccck you. " Clyde facepalmed and groaned.  
" What do you mean Clyde? " You leaned towards Clyde semi-pushing Kyle away, curious.  
" Cartman said something about,' Save (Y/N), she needs help. Kyle is probably trying to rape her'. I swear, Cartman is the worst shipper in this town." Clyde put down his hands and looked at you and winked. " Have fun with Kyle~ ", then left. Leaving you high and dry.  
You felt Kyle's hand on your shoulder and you turned to him with a blushing face.  
" Soo~ How 'bout that date? "  
, , T.  
" uHHH, excuse me? ", You tried to pull off an innocent and naive look while you had cold sweat dripping down your forehead.  
FUCKDUCKDUCKFUCKFUCKTUCKTUCKGUCKCFUGFUFKFUHKFUHAFAHKGAHKACKACHKFUCK  
" You know what I'm talking about~.", Kyle face got closer to yours.  
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT  
" Do I? ", You staggered backwards.  
nonononononnonononononnononononononnoonoonnoonononnoononnonononoononononnNONONONONO!  
" You do, doll~ " He gave you a sly smirk and proceeded to invade your personal space.

You tilted your head and looked away, flustered beyond comprehension.  
Kyle grabbed your chin and he turned your face towards him.  
Hysteria took over you and you slapped him in the face, in which leaving him stunned.  
As for you, wait where the hell are you?  
Yeah, you took off like Speedy Gonzales on drugs to Stan's house.  
Mainly that you couldn't trust Cartman.  
You knocked on the Marsh residence and let you in, a bit surprised from your get-up. As soon as you were out of radar, you busted into Stan's room with incredible speed, and then hid in his closet. You were whispering profanities simultaneously to keep yourself sane. You began to mull over the situation you were currently in, lost in thought. You heard Stan enter his room saying to himself," Dad said that (Y/N) was here to see me... Where the hell is she? Welp! " Stan walked his way to his closet and opened to the door- oh there's you crouched and curled up in a ball! WAIT WHAT. He sees you. Not awkward at all. Yep. Just gonna stare at each other. Mhmmm. Oh what's that emotion that overtook Stan's face? Oh yeah, I believe it's called 'surprise' and 'confusion'.  
" (Y/N)!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?! "  
" Nothing! Whatever do you mean? "  
" Oh sure, and the earth is flat! "  
You looked both right and left and then pushed Stan and somersaulted under his bed.  
" DUDE WHAT THE FUCK. "  
" I NEED TO HIDE STAN. "  
" WHY? "  
" 'COS I CAN'T-UGH! "  
" Come on, you can tell me, " coaxed Stan, trying to get you out.  
" But it's secret, okay? This is a REALLY BIG SECRET! "  
" Nope. I'm not listening. "  
" You DICK, LISTEN! "  
" Fine! Women are insane, I swear! "  
You took a deep breath and you tackled Stan while getting out under his bed. Stan pushed you off of him and stared you ," Dafuq, bitch? " and got up as you got up and- wait what. Why the hell is Stan half naked. He was dressed before. What. What. Is he some fricking ninja or something. Yeah. That explains a lot. You stared at Stan with a poker face, as he reciprocated. Awkward moment, to say the least. You walked over to his bed and sat on it, he did the same. Stan raised an eyebrow asked," Is there something you'd like to say? "  
" Uhhh, yes. "  
" Is it how you're in love with Kyle? "  
He's a fucking ninja. We called it.  
" You're a ninja aren't you? "  
" No, it just painfully obvious how you two act around each other. "  
" Oh shit! Does Kyle know!? "  
"I don't know. "  
" By the way? "  
" Hm? "  
" Why are you half naked? "  
" Oh, nothing. You came in like a hurricane so fast and you brushed against my shoulder, so I spilled my drink on myself."  
" Make sen-"  
BAM, THE DOOR OPENS.  
THERE HE IS, KYLEY-B IN ALL HIS MAJESTIC GLORY.  
Next thing you know, you're out on the street holding Kyle's hand, who's dragging you. You're blushing, he's blushing, it's hella awkward.  
You jerked your back and Kyle turns around pissed. He has a mini-glare on his face and asks in a slightly venomous voice," What were you doing with Stan? Was he trying to hit on you? That fucking son of a muff cabbage."  
" Hey! It's not nice to call Stan an overfucked vagina, and he wasn't trying to come on to me. Why do you care?"  
" He was half naked and the both of you were on his bed! "  
" Dude! We're only friends, and besides, he has Wendy! "  
" I- uh. "  
" I think someone's a bit jealous~ ", you cooed with a smirk very evident on your face.  
Kyle shook his head profusely," No! "  
" I think you are~ "  
" Noooooo. "  
" It's okay, I reciprocate your feelings. " You tiptoed and lightly kissed Kyle's cheek.  
Kyles face flushed into a brighter pink.  
" I thought Jerseys were really robust, hmmm? ", you teased Kyle.  
He said nothing but grabbed your hand.  
You laughed and laced your fingers with his.

THE END? 


End file.
